Helplessly Hoping
by okami11235
Summary: Short Songfic, Rukia comes back to Karakura to visit Ichigo, but doesn't want him to know..


Unseen doors slid silently shut behind a raven-tressed visitor, for the third time that particular week. Two small feet fluttered slowly to the wet pavement below, their owner's first contact with the Living World materializing as a short, muffled splash. Moving cautiously, yet quickly through the abandoned streets, the midnight-clad spectre prayed that her clandestine purpose would not be hindered by any of the spiritually-aware people that littered the town of Karakura. Though many of whom she had come to call "nakama"; "friends"; "comrades"; this was not the night for petty small talk, forced smiles or feigned apathy regarding a certain human, to stifle any awkward jealousy (the last of which being reserved for Inoue).

* * *

><p><em>Helplessy hoping her harlequin hovers nearby<br>__Awaiting a word_

* * *

><p>As she turned another corner, the cloaked girl skidded to a halt.<p>

"Shit...What's she doing here?" She muttered with an air of spite. She attempted to mask her presence, but all for naught, as the auburn-haired nuisance skipped happily towards her, despite the lachrymose weather.

"Kuchiki-san? Is that you? What are you doing here? Are you off-duty? Or are you on a mission? Is there something wrong with Kur-..." The curvaceous girl inquired, her voice becoming more shrill with each passing syllable, until the visiting Shinigami cut her off.

"Everything is fine, Inoue. I'm just visiting." The shorter of the two replied, with a certain irritation, which she attempted to hide.

"Oh!" Inoue smiled, clapping her hands together. "Then you and I should go out for ice cream! I found this great new place that has every kind of flavour! I tried the wasabi and the tuna and the mushroom and the..." Inoue continued on, listing several more vile concoctions she had tried, likely scaring the ice cream vendor into closing up shop. The Shinigami girl lightly rubbed her temple, quickly tiring of Inoue's high-pitched drabble.

The Shinigami forced a laugh. "Some other time, maybe, Inoue. I have to go." A flash of disappointment graced Inoue's features, but was quickly replaced with a wide grin.

"Okay, Kuchiki-san! I'll make sure to remind you!" The saccharine tones fell short on the raven-haired girl, who turned quickly with a nod, and began to sprint, intent on fulfilling her original purpose. "Kuchiki-san, wait!" Inoue called out before the visitor could escape earshot. Doing her best to prevent spitting curses out like a bar full of drunken men, the Shinigami turned to partially face Inoue, a scowl now evident on her pale face. "Will you...please visit Kurosaki-kun? I know he misses you...I'm sure he would cheer up if you said hello." Inoue pleaded to the invisible girl, some jealousy working its way to the surface. Without so much as a nod or a "I'll think about it", the Shinigami turned around and sped off, before the small tears marring her pale skin could separate themselves from the rain.

* * *

><p><em>Gasping at glimpses of gentle true spirit,<em>  
><em>He runs<br>__Wishing he could fly  
><em>_Only to trip at the sound of goodbye_

* * *

><p>Deciding it would be far easier to simply fly to her destination, the Shinigami had been making steady progress, only once more impeded by a whole-child, who she quickly konso-ed without incidence.<p>

The lonely flight worked her memory, flashing back to 'their' last meeting.

To say that it 'hurt' was the understatement of the fucking century.

Try 'killed', and you might be a bit closer to how the Shinigami felt every fucking day. For two years.

Tears and rain clouding her vision, the girl stumbled.

* * *

><p><em>Wordlessly watching, he waits by the window,<em>  
><em>And wonders<em>_  
>At the empty place inside.<em>

* * *

><p>Carefully acquiring a place on the windowsill after having reached her destination, the girl pressed her small hand against the fogged glass. Clearing away a small spot on the window, she peered inside, observing the near lifeless state of the room's owner, and even the room itself.<p>

It was as though his soul itself sucked up all the life in his room, his body, and without so much as a "See you around, fucker", took off, leaving a broken shell of a body instead of driven protector, and a house instead of a home.

And it was her fault.

His life was empty without her.

HE was empty. Because SHE left.

No.

Because she interfered in the first place.

* * *

><p><em>Heartlessly helping himself to her bad dreams<br>__He worries  
><em>_Did he hear a goodbye?_  
><em>Or even hello?<em>

* * *

><p>Stifling her mewls, she climbed through the window, softly hitting the hardwood floor with padded feet. Instinctively slicing her way through the murky darkness of the room, as she had done myriad times in the past, she took her place at his bedside.<p>

"Hey...Baka.." She whispered, a sad smirk playing at her mouth.

As every night, he began to stir the second her velvety tones hit his ears.

_"I'm a Shinigami."_  
><em>"It's not Shinigami. It's Rukia Kuchiki."<em>  
><em>"You fool!"<em>  
><em>"If you ever try to come after me, I will never, ever forgive you!"<em>  
><em>"That's the man you are in my heart!"<em>

The boy's dreams always featured his favourite moments with her.

And they always devolved into nightmares of her goodbye.

Because there wasn't one.

Not that he heard.

Her nightmares were of the same nature.

His hello.

Because she'd never hear it again.

Her tears starting to fall, she scooted closer to the boy's bedside and began stroking his orange mane.

It was the only comfort she could provide to a blind and deaf man.

And it was the only comfort he could provide to an invisible and silent woman.

* * *

><p><em>(They are one person)<em>  
><em>They are two alone<br>__They are three together  
><em>_They are for each other_

* * *

><p>Content with his state, after stroking his crown for several minutes, the Shinigami softly pressed her lips to his forehead, and tiptoed to the bedroom's door. She entered the stifling darkness of the hallway, intending to check on the twins who had taken to calling her "sister".<p>

This was derailed immediately by the soft light emanating from the downstairs kitchen. Her breath hitched, seeing a brunette child walking tiredly up the stairs.

She had nowhere to run.

She could only hope that Yuzu hadn't developed the ability to sense spirits.

Otherwise she was screwed.

* * *

><p><em>Stand by the stairway you'll see something certain to tell you<br>Confusion has its cost_

* * *

><p>"Ruki-nee?" Kurosaki Yuzu whispered, her surprise only deadened by her tired state. The Shinigami raised a single slim finger to her lips and made a "shh" sound. "But.." Yuzu began, but was cut off when the Shinigami shook her head.<p>

"You'll wake everyone. We can talk downstairs." The elder of the two motioned towards the stairs and led the junior down them.

"Eto..okay..." Yuzu replied, following close behind.

Once where they could talk at a comfortable tone, Yuzu asked the only question that came to mind.

"Are you here to visit Ichi-nii?" She asked with a hopeful inflection. The adressed turned a slight shade of pink, and turned her gaze to the floor.

"Sort of." She answered quietly. "You can't tell him."

"But why?" The meek twin asked, immediately tearing up at the Shinigami's words.

"He can't know that I still come here."

"But wouldn't that make him happy?" Yuzu pleaded, her tears becoming more obvious. "He's been so empty, Ruki-nee, please!" The young girl sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Yuzu." She attempted to outstretch an arm to comfort the young girl, but was quickly startled by a noise upstairs.

* * *

><p><em>Love isn't lying it's loose in a lady<br>Who lingers  
>Saying she is lost<br>And choking on hello_

* * *

><p>"Yuzu?" A masculine voice called from upstairs.<p>

Soft brown eyes fall to the Shinigami.

"I have to go."

"Ruki-nee, please!" Yuzu attempted to grab the visitor's wrist. The Shinigami dodged the attempt and shook her head regretfully.

"Sorry." With that, the front door shut and the Shinigami was off.

"Yuzu? Are you alright?" The former Shinigami called out, coming downstairs to find his sister weeping on the couch.

"It's Ru..." She stopped, cut off by her own sobs. Ichigo shot forward at the sound of that syllable.

He didn't ask any other questions.

Her scent filled the air.

One word escaped the boy's lips as he dashed into the freezing deluge.

* * *

><p><em>(They are one person)<em>  
><em>They are two alone<br>They are three together  
>They are for each other<em>

* * *

><p>"Rukia."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Alright, not happy with this, but yeah. Based on the song "Helplessly Hoping", by Crosby, Stills, and Nash, but I prefer the cover by I Fight Dragons. I own neither the song nor Bleach. Enjoy. Review! Make an IchiRuki fanboy happy! Or you'll ruin Ichi's birthday!


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